endo appointments + A1c = anxiety

Diabetes is hard. It is hard to control, and hard to deal with emotionally, and physically for some. My last endo appointment was in February. Overall, it just was not a good visit. My A1c reached a whopping 10. My endo was not upset, as there were many contributing factors, mainly anxiety (and some major pump issues). Back between September - early November, I couldn't even ride past my high school without having a panic attack. These panic attacks caused my blood sugars to skyrocket. The first time I walked into the school after all of this happened, my blood sugar shot up to 500mg/dL. Before I went in I was 140mg/dL. This happened every time. It took many months for me to learn to control this, with the help of counseling and the such. Thankfully, I am back in school now, full time. At first I would only go in for a few classes at a time, until I worked my way backwards into a full day. It was difficult, and I spent many nights lying awake in bed just thinking about how stupid I was being, and how much I was going to ruin my future...how I was never going to get into the college of my dreams (Rutgers). I would have never thought that I would ever be back in a classroom, even to this day. Things have gotten better diabetes wise. My control has been wonderful since my last appointment, especially this past month. I am eating healthier, keeping better logs of my blood sugars, and carb and insulin intake, exercising almost daily, and even wearing my medical id. I feel like a new person, and I hope all of the hard work shows at my next endo appointment (Friday 5/23). I am both excited and nervous about this next visit. Mostly about what my A1c will be. I am hoping for anything under 8, and I will work my way down from there. Hopefully my transition to the cozmo wont cause any blood sugar issues, and I can continue on with my good control...I need to stop worrying and believe that I have done enough, and have tried my hardest.